Why Couples Contact Me

I work with couples that need support to improve their communication, align their life goals, deepen their intimacy, or to heal after an affair or betrayal.  I also help couples find their way through the complexities of major life and/or role changes (such as having a baby, caring for an aging parent, children leaving home, retirement etc).  The couples I see feel stuck in patterns that are creating loneliness and/or conflict. Their partner seems just out of reach; the warmth and closeness that was once felt has somehow been lost.

What Couples Learn With Me

When two people who are deeply in love start to have discord in their relationship, the pain they are currently experiencing gets confused with the pain that is buried within each person that has roots deeply entrenched in the past. Both people are usually caught up in using outdated coping strategies learned in childhood.  The pattern is repeated over and over in a desperate attempt to get personal needs met, and even though the method is completely failing, they keep repeating it because they don’t know what else to do.  They may falsely believe that their partner should change in some fundamental way; often thinking that if their partner changes, the pain will go away, and love will be experienced again. An opportunity to heal and grow is incorrectly felt as something “going wrong” in the relationship.

How I Will Work With You And Your Partner

You will discover how your relationship can be a catalyst to help you evolve and grow into the people you each want to be – both together and separately.  I teach and model how to use a powerful set of tools that are concrete and accessible. 

When a solid commitment is made to using these tools, the results are profound.  You and your partner will return to a place of deep love and shared intimacy; one that can be even greater than the initial stages of your relationship (the "honeymoon phase") because now you will be even more connected.  You will regain access to all of the wonderful qualities that caused you to fall in love initially, but now you will have the invaluable experience of having a shared history and continuity over time.  You'll find your humor and laugh together again, trust will be restored, and a passionate connection can once again be enjoyed.

I CAN HELP YOU AND YOUR PARTNER

• Finally put an end to the predictable and painful cycle of repeat fights with no resolution 

• Keep passion alive over time

• Improve communication 

• Make a deeper commitment 

• Adjust to the birth of a child

• Negotiate life transitions and role changes 

• Align your parenting

• Rediscover the connection you once felt with each other 

• Prioritize your connection with your partner in the midst of busy lives

• Heal after an affair or betrayal

• Separate from your partner if that is the healthiest option

Additional Specialties

Singles

If you are single and seeking a partnership, I will help you show up as the best version of yourself, and attract someone who is also at that level.

ARE YOU SINGLE AND LONGING TO BE IN RELATIONSHIP?

If you are hoping to find a partner and create a lasting and loving relationship, I can help you address any unhealthy patterns that might be getting in the way of building the relationship you have been longing for.  When you are ready, you will learn how to attract the kind of partner you have been searching for, and feel better about yourself during the process.

ARE YOU IN THE MIDST OF A DIVORCE OR ADJUSTING TO THE LOSS OF A PARTNER?

If you have lost your partner, I will support you during the grieving process and help you begin rebuilding your life.

Addiction and Recovery

Addictive behaviors are rituals enacted in an attempt to soothe pain.   

What began as a coping strategy, a part-time way to deal with stress or sadness (or to add fun to your life) became a full-time preoccupation.  Rather than serving as one of many possible ways for dealing with difficult feelings, an addiction becomes the primary one, sometimes the only one.

Do you want to regain control of your life?

If you are struggling with a potential addiction and want to regain control of your life, I can help you assess the situation accurately. You will be able to determine if a controlled use plan is an option.  If we discover that you do indeed have an addiction, I will help you decide what to do about it now.  I can help you face the situation and enter into the recovery process if needed.  You will learn healthier ways to cope with the stressors in your life and obtain tools to avoid relapse and remain in recovery over time.

Codependency

If your relationship is completely draining you, yet you feel stuck out of habit or fear of abandonment, then I can help you take the essential steps needed to refocus on your own happiness and wellbeing.  

One of the defining traits of codependency is the tendency to obsessively track your partner, anchoring your attention and well-being within this other person, instead of within yourself. 

While the addict or Alcoholic is destructively consumed with a substance or activity, the person caught up in codependency has become entirely lost in another person; personal boundaries are not properly maintained and there is an overwhelming preoccupation with "helping" this other person.  

If you have a tendency towards codependency, these same destructive relationship patterns can emerge in relationships where there is no obvious addict or dysfunction.  

Addressing codependency will free you to end destructive relationships as well as transform relationships that are worth salvaging.

Mindfulness and Spirituality

Psychological and spiritual development are inextricably intertwined. Both paths lead to reduced suffering and help people grow in consciousness. As a psychotherapist and spiritual seeker, I work with individuals engaged in personal and spiritual work.

Experience the transformational power of integrating a mindfulness practice into your therapeutic work. While we address healing the emotional wounds of the past, we will also explore the profound existential questions related to the meaning of life that can arise while doing deep work.

Life Transitions

Parenting & Single Parenting

Life Balance in the Age of Technology

Infertility

Adoption

Low Self-Esteem

Anxiety or Fears

Loneliness & Boredom

Mild Depression